Eurovision Song Contest 1963

Here are my choices for best songs at the 1963 Eurovision Song Contest, which was held in London, England on March 23. Except for the winning entry from Denmark, I had not heard any of these songs until now.

My Rank Country Title, Artist Eurovision Final Ranking
1 Sweden “En gång i Stockholm”, Monica Zetterlund 13 (tie)
2 Denmark “Dansevise”, Grethe & Jørgen Ingmann 1
3 Austria “Vielleicht geschieht ein Wunder”, Carmela Corren 7
4 Germany “Marcel”, Heidi Brühl 9
5 Yugoslavia “Brodovi”, Vice Vukov 11

Jogobiz—The Case of the Missing Sales Rep

I used to work for a drug store chain and was in charge of ordering sodas. Once a week, a rep from each of the major companies would show up, check our inventory, ask if we had any sales coming up, place an order, and then a day or so later a truck would appear with our order.

Once, a rep from one company (let’s call it Dyspepsia) had not appeared on his usual day. I wasn’t overly concerned; we had plenty of stock and no sales coming up for Dyspepsia products. But on his regularly scheduled day the following week, he did not show up again. I called his number and spoke to the company operator, who put me through to his voice mail. I left a message.

The next day, I hadn’t received a response, so I called again. Spoke again to the operator, who put me through to his voice mail again. I left another message.

And the same thing the next day.

And the same thing the day after that, only this time I was unable to leave a message because the voice mailbox was full. I pressed “0” to return to the operator and told her I was unable to leave a message with my rep because his voice mailbox was full. She sent me back to his voice mail.

Again, I pressed “0” to return to the operator and told her again I was unable to leave a message with my rep because his voice mailbox was full, and please not to send me back there—was there someone else to whom I could speak? She said to hold on a minute, then sent me right back to my rep’s voice mail!

We were now running low on Dyspepsia stock—not only were we losing sales, Dyspepsia was also losing sales, though they were probably unaware of this.

I gave it one last try. I called Dyspepsia again, explained again to the operator that my rep’s voice mailbox was full, implored with her again to let me speak to someone else, but she sent me again to my rep’s voice mail, which was still full.

Not knowing what else to do, I called a Dyspepsia office in the nearest major city, which was Los Angeles. I explained what had happened and said I didn’t know whom else to call. The operator took my name and number and said she have someone contact me.

An hour later, I received a call from the secretary for the Dyspepsia VP of Marketing for the West Coast. She apologized profusely for what had happened and said she had gotten hold of my rep, and I should be hearing from him very soon. She gave me her direct number and said if I ever had problems like this again, to give her a call.

An hour after that, a Dyspepsia truck arrived, as did my rep. He looked at me sheepishly and said, “Why didn’t you call me?”

I countered, “Why weren’t you checking your messages? Why haven’t you been coming to check my inventory? Didn’t you think it was odd that you hadn’t heard from me?”  He merely shrugged and walked away to supervise the delivery.

This rep had, until now, always done a pretty good job. I have no idea why he stopped visiting our store and wasn’t checking his voicemail. Even if he’d been in some debilitating accident or had been abducted by aliens, never to be seen again, didn’t anyone at Dyspepsia think someone should be handling his accounts? What if I hadn’t called the Los Angeles office? How much time would’ve passed before I heard from my rep? I bet Dyspepsia’s competitors would’ve been more than happy to fill those empty shelves with their product.

Though an iconic, major company like Dyspepsia is in no danger of going under any time soon, other companies may not be so fortunate. Even in times of optimal demand, a company can lose sales and customer loyalty through a series of easily preventable circumstances: in this case, a combination of an experienced sales rep having a major lapse of attention and a poorly trained operator. But both can be traced to apathetic, incompetent, or even arrogant management.

Official: List of Artists and Songs for next Jogovision Song Contest

The following is the official list of participating countries, performers, and songs for the next Jogovision Song Contest.

Country Artist
Song
Language English Translation
Argentina Nieve y Niebla
Nací Para Boogie
Spanish I Was Born To Boogie
Australia Keylime Meringue
Don’t You Know It’s You I Like?
English
China (PRC) Jìng Lin
美丽的国家 (Měilì de guójiā)
Chinese Beautiful Country
Egypt Nabil Ramzy
Ma Grand-Mère
French My Grandmother
Finland Saarinen Sisarukset
Keijut
Finnish The Fairies
Greece Zenon Papadakis
θεά (Theá)
Greek Goddess
Iceland Svanhildur Sigurðardóttir
Happy Happy
English
India Everett “Everybody” Singh
एक विनम्र पत्थर (Ēka vinamra pat’thara)
Hindi A Humble Stone
Israel* Natbag 3000
Waiting For Sunshine
English
Jamaica Prudence Moore
Every Time I Turn Around
English
Japan* Oto Collection
レインボーボーイ (Reinbō Bōi)
Japanese Rainbow Boy
Netherlands Oosten en Westen
Dance All Night
English
South Africa Jalamba Ladies
Ungathanda Ukudansa?
English, Xhosa Would You Like To Dance With Me?
United Kingdom* Leesa
Time For Jettin’
English
United States of America Wylmaaa B.
Mama’s Girl
English

*2011 Contest participant.

Venue and host to be announced.
Website: Jogovision Song Contest
Watch JSC 2011 on YouTube.

Eurovision Song Contest 1994

Here are my choices for best songs at the 1994 Eurovision Song Contest, which was held in Dublin, Ireland on April 30. Except for the winning entry from Ireland, I had not heard any of these songs until now.

My Rank Country Title, Artist Eurovision Final Ranking
1 France “Je suis un vrai garçon”, Nina Morato 7
2 Hungary “Kinek mondjam el vétkeimet?”, Friderika Bayer 4
3 Cyprus “Íme ánthropos ki egó”, Evridiki 11
4 Germany “Wir geben ‘ne Party”, MeKaDo 3
5 Russia “Vechny strannik”, Youddiph 9
6 Ireland “Rock ‘n’ Roll Kids”, Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan 1
7 Estonia “Nagu merelaine”, Silvi Vrait 24
8 Poland “To nie ja!”, Edyta Górniak 2
9 Netherlands “Waar is de zon?”, Willeke Alberti 23
10 Austria “Für den Frieden der Welt”, Petra Frey 17

Greece and Cyprus did give each other 12 points this year. While there were some good songs in the contest, the majority seemed to be rather bland ballads that all sounded alike. Not the strongest year for entries. Cypriot singer Evridiki was my choice for 3rd best in the 1992 Eurovision Song Contest.

Eurovision 2015 / Semifinals 1 and 2

About a week ago, I posted my top twelve choices for Eurovision 2015 based on either their studio recordings or their performances in their respective countries’ national finals. The funny thing about watching the songs in the semifinals is that some songs that sounded great in the studio fell flat onstage (often due to the discovery that the singers can’t really sing without studio trickery) and some songs that were just so-so really soared when the singer had the electricity of a competitive live performance coursing through them. There’s also a few other songs that failed to make an impression on me even after several listens but finally began to sink in at the semifinals. Here then, are my choices for each semifinal.

Note: Italy and Austria, my #5 and #6 choices, don’t appear on the list below as they will not appear until the final.

Semifinal 1, May 19 2015
Country Pre-Contest My Choice ESC Results
Moldova 09
Armenia 02 10
Belgium 09 06
Netherlands
Finland 08 03
Greece
Estonia
Macedonia
Serbia 12 02
Hungary 01 01
Belarus 08
Russia 05
Denmark
Albania
Romania 04
Georgia 07
Semifinal 1, May 21 2015
Country Pre-Contest My Choice ESC Results
Lithuania 08
Ireland
San Marino
Montenegro 07 02
Malta
Norway
Portugal
Czech Republic 09
Israel 10 06
Latvia 03 01
Azerbaijan 07
Iceland
Sweden 11 10
Switzerland
Cyprus 05
Slovenia 04 03
Poland 04

 

My choices for Eurovision 2015

It’s difficult to compare songs. If one song has a catchy tune but insipid words, while another has profound lyrics and a boring melody, which one is better? If a great song is sung poorly or a mediocre song has some amazing arrangements, which one is better? My mood can even affect the comparison: one day I might be in the mood for something slow and gentle, another day I might want something with a solid beat so I can shake my booty. And there is sometimes a difference between what I like and what I think is a potential Eurovision winner even if I don’t like it. And some songs don’t grow on me until long after the final.

With all that in mind, here are my twelve choices for best songs competing at Eurovision 2015 on May 19, 21, and 23 in Vienna, Austria. Note these choices are based on the studio versions of the songs. I’ll probably publish another ranking based on the performances of the songs that make it to the final if there’s a significant difference.

12. Serbia / Bojana Staminov, “Beauty Never Lies”
Lyrically, the nod to self-empowerment will be popular, but the song itself is good but not great; it may just squeak through the semi-finals, if at all.
11. Sweden / Måns Zelmerlöw, “Heroes”
For years, American singer Donna Summer was plagued by accusations that she had made homophobic remarks during a concert. Both she and several of her gay associates denied she’d made them or said she’d been quoted out of context. Zelmerlöw too has been accused of the same, and both he and some of his gay associates have said he is not homophobic. Will this hurt his chances at Eurovision? The song is catchy with good energy, but Eurovision voters can be fickle about techno songs, particularly with Zelmerlöw’s unusual pronunciation.
10. Israel / Nadav Guedj, “Golden Boy”
This seems like a somewhat grim year for Eurovision songs; usually there’s a handful of “naffy” songs, but “Golden Boy” seems to be the only one. Israel has failed to qualify for the final the previous four years, and as much fun as this song is, it’s probably not strong enough to qualify, either.
09. Belgium / Loïc Nottet, “Rhythm Inside”
A very striking song reminiscent of “Royals” by Lorde but may be too dark for Eurovision tastes. Could make it past the semi-finals on Nottet’s somewhat Bieber-like image and the song’s unique sound. As for me, I’m a sucker for good modulation, and the change from A minor to A major in the stanzas is what grabs me each time I listen to it.
08. Finland / Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät, “Aina mun pitää”
This song has every reason not to make it past the semi-final—it’s too short; it’s punk; it’s not sung in English. And there have been plenty of hateful remarks made about the fact the band members have developmental disabilities. However, this song also has ever reason to be a very dark horse winner: everyone loves an underdog story, plenty of people have rallied in defense of the band, and Finland’s only victory was from another song that was definitely not typical for Eurovision: a heavy metal song in 2006.
07. Montenegro / Knez, “Adio”
Gently pleasing song with nice arrangement. I like the odd beat count in the chorus, but the fact it’s not sung in English will probably keep it out of the final.
06. Austria / The Makemakes, “I Am Yours”
A solidly written and well-performed song in a similar spirit to 2014’s Dutch entry (“Calm After The Storm”). Has the advantage of being the home team so the crowd will definitely love it. Good contender for the top ten in the final.
05. Italy / Il Volo, “Grande Amore”
This song has all the ingredients necessary to win: Il Volo has already achieved a degree of recognition, the guys are cute, they have great voices, and the stanzas surge to an epic chorus. It’s sung in Italian, but I don’t think that’s a handicap here—it just adds to the songs operatic nature. I must say, though, the music video is pretty lame.
04. Slovenia / Maraaya, “Here For You”
Part of the attraction is singer Marjetka Vovk’s unusual voice, but it may be a turnoff for the audiences. I’d lose the violin woman; she’s too distracting.
03. Latvia / Aminata, “Love Injected”
Another striking and dark entry that reminds me of both Albania’s 2012 entry (“Suus”) and Norway’s 2013 entry (“I Feed You My Love”). Not a typical Eurovision song, but I suspect its uniqueness will work in its favor and place it in the top ten at the final.
02. Armenia / Genealogy, “Face The Shadow”
This will be a very divisive song; the producers say it is about unity and tolerance and not a call for recognition of the Armenian Genocide—Armenia’s neighbors, Turkey and Azerbaijan, say otherwise. But Turkey isn’t participating in Eurovision this year and Azerbaijan would never cast a vote for an Armenian song even if it were about puppies and ice cream. Expect a few boos at Eurovision. Otherwise, a strong candidate for the top ten.
01. Hungary / Boggie, “Wars for Nothing”
This was my choice for best song at Hungary’s A Dal competition, and I’m glad to say it is also my overall favorite for Eurovision 2015. I first heard it not too long after the Charlie Hebdo massacre, and with other problems happening in the world, its gentle but anthemic call for peace is sorely needed. It’s quite the sublime song, without the flash and pizazz that often characterizes most songs at Eurovision. If it were to win, it would definitely become a timeless classic. Alas, its quiet nature may be too subtle for audiences, so as much as it pains me to say so, it may not even make it past the semi-final, though I’ve got my fingers crossed.

If America entered Eurovision

What would happen if The United States of America suddenly found itself eligible to compete in The Eurovision Song Contest?

1. With 50 states and assorted territories, there would have to be semi-finals.

2. Alaska and Hawaii would never make it past the semi-finals because they have no neighbors to vote for them.

3. Some people would think it unfair that Georgia also gets to compete in the main Eurovision semi-finals.

4. Washington would send grunge music, Kentucky would send bluegrass, and Michigan would send Eminem.

5. The most significant voting bloc would be the Southern states, because heaven forbid a Yankee state should win.

6. Some Americans wouldn’t watch because they couldn’t find Europe on a map.

7. Indiana wouldn’t compete because Eurovision is “too gay.”

8. A no lip-syncing rule would disqualify 95% of potential artists.

9. Most of the English lyrics would actually make sense!

10. Americans would be mystified by foreign-sounding phrases like “dew spwah” and “noel pwah.”

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